


After the End

by Sparrowlicious



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Divergence, Canon Universe, Frottage, Getting Back Together, M/M, Soft Kylux, bathing together, kylux in exile, millicent the tooka, not tros-compatible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22033945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparrowlicious/pseuds/Sparrowlicious
Summary: [Not TROS-compatible.]Five years after going into exile Kylo is drawn to a planet he had never been to. He doesn't know why until he goes down and finds Hux there, the love of his life.Many things still need to be said between them. Kylo doesn't know if he's ready but at least he found him again.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 22
Kudos: 101





	After the End

**Author's Note:**

> Despite knowing a lot of spoilers about TROS I didn't see it and don't plan on seeing it. I started writing this fic before the movie came out. :') If you like to see it as a fix-it then you are more than welcome to. <3

Kylo wasn't sure what compelled him to land on this planet, which he would later learn was named Oblivion X-3 in the local dialect. He might blame it on his Force intuition or the low fuel gauge of his ship. This was either the sixth or seventh ship he had traded in for another since he fled into exile five years ago. In the end he didn't quite know why he touched down in a field instead of using his scanner to locate an outpost or another more comfortable place for a stop. This low on fuel it might have been wiser to look around more.

But here he was, far far away from the Core worlds and those who might still hunt him. His saber arm was tired. The destruction of the First Order had taken its toll on his mind and body.

As he stepped out of his ship and took a few steps he spotted the back of a familiar figure in the distance. Maybe it was Kylo's imagination. He didn't quite dare to reach out with the Force in fear he might be disappointed much sooner than he liked, allowing himself the short-lived fantasy. These days he only used the Force when he really needed to, usually to defend himself or to make trades go smoother. Not so much anymore to look into the minds of other people, or flay them.

The familiar stranger was repairing an energy fence which was powered down in a few segments while a girl stood in the distance looking over a herd of small woolly creatures. They weren't nerfs but still similar enough to categorize them as woolly nerfs in Kylo's mind. He wasn’t quite familiar with livestock.

The stranger froze as he heard Kylo's approach, his grey-streaked red hair whipped in the dry wind as his hand covertly reached for his blaster. Or at least he tried since Kylo still knew this man's movements well enough to read them clearly. His heart was in his throat.

"Hux," Kylo said, his voice raspy from disuse. How long had it been since he had talked to another life form? At least four or five standard days, he was unsure. Staying on his ship for longer periods of time made the days meld together.

Hux froze for a moment before slowly turning. They took each other in. Hux was weathered, the skin of his face showing the first wrinkles of age were the wind had undoubtedly buffeted him daily for who knew how long.

But Kylo knew how long it could’ve possibly been because five standard years ago he exiled Hux himself, about two months before the Order fell. Hux had hated him back then even though Kylo had done it for his own good, to protect his life. He hadn’t seen it that way back then. He had cursed Kylo’s name, denounced his love in front of their troops. Things which were private, things Kylo had kept close to his heart – all laid open for anyone who cared to listen. But still Hux had went away and Kylo thought he’d never see him again. Not that he had invested any energy into looking for him after the Order fell. Kylo was being realistic, he told himself. Finding Hux in the vast expanse of the universe seemed hardly possible. It was a wondrous feeling, staggering even to see him again after such a long time.

And yet here he was, his gaze hard, his hand still holding his blaster, his body still skinny as ever. Even his beard couldn’t hide the gauntness of his face. If Hux were to fire at him Kylo wouldn’t know if he would even be able to stop the blaster bolt. It wasn’t so much about his strength in the Force – he still had plenty – but emotionally he was unsure if he even wanted to live if Hux were to reject him again. His heart ached preemptively at the thought. He had done this himself.

“You look terrible,” Hux said, his hand slowly put the blaster back into the holster when he saw Kylo hadn’t moved where he stood. It had been weeks since Kylo had seen himself in a mirror but he was aware of his scruffy chin, his own tiredness and the new scars on his body although none of them were in his face.

He hadn’t lost any limbs so far which was lucky for a Force user who had been in as many battles as him but Kylo might as well have with how much else he had lost. He definitely needed a bath though or a shower, anything to clean himself up since personal hygiene hadn’t been on his agenda all that much lately. When you were traveling through the galaxy alone some things simply became less important.

“Why are you here?” Hux said as he slowly got up from where he was squatting. Kylo knew from the look on his face that he hated the groan he couldn’t hold back as he got onto his feet. Showing weakness was something Hux had always hated and Kylo knew it too well since it was something they had in common.

“I don’t know,” Kylo said truthfully. The last five years he hadn’t known where he was going. Only far away without staying in a place for too long for the fear of conflict, of discovery. He was on the run, even if it had been years since he had seen the last bounty for him on the holonet. The New (New) Republic was too busy rebuilding itself to care much about war criminals like him or Hux. The other shoe might drop later, for now Kylo didn’t want to chance it. Unlike Hux, apparently. Still, seeing him now Kylo’s heart beat faster. He was excited for the first time in many years.

“Who is she,” Kylo said and gave a nod to the girl who was watching them from the field. She couldn’t have been older than 12 or 13, loosened strands of her bound red hair whipped in the wind. Kylo knew Hux didn’t have any interest in women just like Kylo himself, he had made this very clear in their time together in the Order so a secret family didn’t make sense to him. She must have been a farm hand from a nearby village. Only Kylo hadn’t seen any villages nearby when he landed on the planet which of course didn’t mean there weren’t any.

Hux’s further irritation was visible on his face. It was clear he wanted Kylo gone and yet he still indulged him.

“She’s my daughter, not that it’s any of your concern,” he said. Kylo knew his face visibly fell. His thoughts were plunged into a dark hole. He thought he knew Hux. Maybe he didn’t. A tight, painful knot warped his insides. His pulse thundered in his ears.

“It’s not what you think.” Hux scoffed. “I adopted her because her family didn’t want her …. because she’s different.”

Something in Hux’s expression told Kylo he was overlooking something obvious. Something he should’ve known the moment he stepped out of his ship. It was at this point he finally dared reach out with the Force. A gasp escaped him.

“She has the Force,” he muttered. Hux held his gaze, his eyes hard.

“You’re not taking her away, Ren. Not this one.” The desperation was apparent in his voice as was his anger.

“I wasn’t…” Kylo didn’t know what he was doing here, exactly. In the past he could’ve explained it as a stop to refuel and restock but this far away from anything his only reason was his fleeting connection with Hux. Or maybe because he felt this girl’s connection to the Force. Either way, something had led him here.

In his mind he knew it must have been because of Hux. Kylo hadn’t dared look for him right after the Order fell. It was too dangerous, he told himself. Or maybe he was simply scared of the inevitable rejection he would have faced so closely after Kylo had exiled Hux himself. No, even if he had known where Hux was he couldn’t have faced him back then. He could barely stand facing him now but it was apparently the will of the Force that he should. It was time.

“I’m not sure why I’m here, Hux,” Kylo said truthfully. He opened his mouth to further argue his case when Hux’s adopted daughter approached them. She stayed behind the fence and eyed him with great interest as if she knew all about him.

“Hello, would you like to stay for dinner?” The rough weather hadn’t been kind to her either. Despite her youth her skin seemed rather dry as was her hair. Kylo wondered if she was aware of her Force powers. Kylo could tell Hux wasn’t thrilled about the idea of Kylo talking to her.

“I’m sure he’d rather stay in the village,” Hux said hastily. He turned his back briefly to shut the control panel of the fence before turning it on. The powered off section sprang back to live flawlessly, emitting a low light.

“But father, you said we’re eating the cheese today,” the child said in a pleading voice. She was endearing, Kylo had to grant her that. Hux visibly deflated in his annoyed tension. It was no jedi mind-trick that made him give up his resistance, only the voice of a child and his fatherly feelings for her.

“If he wants cheese,” Hux said as he put his tools away and stood facing Kylo again. “We mostly eat ration bars. It’s cheaper. The cheese is made from sheep’s milk. We sell most of it, so this is a special treat.”

Kylo’s cheeks felt hot. A special treat from Hux. He wanted to know more about his life, about what happened after he left the Order, how he came to adopt a child. But Kylo knew this knowledge was forbidden as far as Hux was concerned. At least it was what Hux’s entire physical expression told him, from his face down to his toes. You’re not welcome. He might as well have said it. He might say it later.

“I’d love to stay for dinner,” Kylo said hopeful to the girl. He licked the dryness off of his lips, watching Hux watch him as he did. There was a tense moment where Kylo thought Hux would pull out his blaster and shoot him where he stood but he didn’t. Instead he scoffed and turned away, toolkit in hand as he walked off. Kylo stared at his back for a second before he followed after him, missing the greatoat Hux had worn these many years ago as he stared at his back. Instead his tanned jacket was thin and Hux’s slight form shivered in the wind as he walked. The girl followed along behind the fence, a kick in her step. She looked happy about the new company.

“You’re lucky there are no jawas on this planet,” Hux said. “Or else you wouldn’t be able to leave your ship in that field. They would strip it down until it was nothing but a useless hunk of metal.”

“I know,” Kylo said as he pulled up next to Hux. It was about 3 standard years ago when Kylo almost fell victim to a group of thieving jawas. Fortunately he returned to his ship in the nick of time to teach them a lesson in regards of messing with a Force user.

The hike wasn’t long and they soon reached an old house that seemed larger than Hux and his daughter might need. It fit right in with the landscape, its walls a weathered beige, the door big and dark. It wasn’t even locked, bells rang as Hux opened it. Kylo wondered why that was but didn’t question him. Not yet anyway, wondering if he might get the chance.

“I’ll set the table!” Hux’s daughter said as she bounded past them through the door.

“Go wash up first!” Hux shouted after her. He put his toolkit down after closing the door behind him, the bells jingling as he did. Kylo followed after Hux wordlessly, his eyes scanned his surroundings. The most surprising thing about the house was probably how normal it seemed. In Kylo’s mind it was outright bizarre Hux would live in such a place and with a child too. Five years had gone by but Kylo could still hardly believe the apparent change in the other man. The Hux he had known would never settle for anything this crowded, for a place this full of, well, things. Trinkets, useless decorations.

“There’s a refresher down the hall,” Hux said with a short glance over his shoulder. It was the most he acknowledged Kylo’s existence as he took off his own jacket. The thin shirt underneath did little to disguise Hux’s frailty. One might think Hux would put on some muscles through his work but he seemed as thin as Kylo remembered him. Maybe even more so.

The fresher door opened and the girl reappeared, offering Kylo a hopeful smile as she pressed past him. He wondered if she knew the extend of her powers. Sith hells, Kylo didn’t dare figure it out for himself. It was a life he had left behind and he planned on keeping it this way. Instead of pondering overly much about it he went into the fresher, boots and cloak still on since neither Hux nor the child had pulled their shoes off.

Inside the refresher he was confronted with an old memory. Kylo rubbed his hand over his face. This wasn’t the time to think back to Luke Skywalker’s jedi academy and the time spent in old ruins to reclaim a legacy that was had never been meant for him. Why he thought of these memories long left behind Kylo didn’t know.

Everything in this room was old technology. No sonic, no sleek designs like in the First Order freshers. Instead there was real water of unknown quality in the pipes. Kylo turned on the faucet to splash some water into his face which he greeted in the mirror with a dull sigh. Hux was right, he looked terrible. His beard was out of hand, there were bags under his eyes and his skin was visibly grimy. There was nothing much he could do about it in the few minutes he planned to spend in here apart from rubbing more water into the skin of his face. He dried himself as best he could and left the refresher.

“Over here”, the girl called to him and Kylo followed back to the main room where in a nook a good sized table was decked out with cheese and dried meat. It smelled heavenly, far better than anything Kylo had eaten in forever.

Hux was already there as was the girl. Without being prompted Kylo sat down across from Hux who only held his gaze briefly before he put some food on his daughter’s plate. She was obviously old enough to do it herself but her expression offered a certain reverence for how Hux gave out the food. It wasn’t only the child’s plate Hux fixed but also the second one which he shoved towards Kylo before finally taking food for himself. What this was about Kylo didn’t know but he gave Hux a nod and a muttered “thank you” before picking off a piece of cheese from his plate and stuffed it into his mouth.

Kylo gasped.

It was such a sharp, fresh taste he couldn’t help but stare at Hux in surprise while being aware about the child watching him with great interest. Seeing a stranger who knew her father must have been a grand spectacle for her, living out here in the middle of nowhere with only sheep for company.

“It’s delicious, isn’t it?” the girl said. Kylo could only nod dumbly.

“Jaina, let him eat,” Hux said after the girl had put down her own food to watch Kylo ravenously devour more pieces of cheese in addition to the dried meat.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jaina muttered in the way most children talked to their parent when they definitely didn’t want to stop doing whatever fun thing they found to do. Still, she went back to eating but not without stealing glances at Kylo.

Compared to the rations and weird alien food Kylo had eaten in the past few months this was something else. A pain settled deep in his chest, an echo from the past haunted him together with the faint memory of his father taking him to a forest moon where they ate freshly roasted meat in a peaceful, hidden village. It had been a good day and Kylo hadn’t thought of it in a very long time.

He pushed it away, like so many other memories which had plagued him in the past view years. With no purpose Kylo had too much time to dwell on everything. His own shortcomings, his bad decision and his regrets. And one of those regrets sat across from him.

Kylo could feel Hux’s resentment even without prodding him through the Force. One glance was enough, Kylo only had to see Hux’s posture, the expression on his face. Everything about him told Kylo how little of an interest Hux had in him being here. And yet here he was, in Hux’s house, sitting across from him, eating his food in the presence of his adopted daughter.

The meal couldn’t last forever so when it was over and the food was gone, Jaina collected their plates and bounded off to the small kitchen area in the corner with Hux following closely after. Kylo watched them from where he sat as they cleaned the few dishes before Hux sent her off to bed. It had gotten dark outside in the meantime, much faster than Kylo had anticipated and the house was alight with only a few weak lamps. Walking back to his ship would be rather annoying in the dark unless he could convince Hux to let him stay at least the night.

With the girl gone from the room Hux faced him properly for the first time since they met outside in the field.

“What are you doing, Kylo?” Hux said, his tension falling from him with the sigh that escaped his lips.

“You look lost.”

“I am lost,” Kylo said truthfully. He had been adrift ever since he fled the Resistance’s retribution. Being on the run he had no other purpose than to survive.

Hux held his gaze for a moment longer before he walked over into the living area, beckoning Kylo to come with him. Stumbling to his feet Kylo couldn’t help but to follow along, moving over to where a sort of broad sofa had multiple blankets messily stacked on top like an impromptu bed.

“I usually sleep here,” Hux said, gesturing to it.

“You’re still a light sleeper,” Kylo said as a matter of fact even though he didn’t understand why Hux didn’t simply lock the door. Maybe out here this was a social thing on this planet to not lock the door. Either way, Kylo knew Hux well enough or at least the thought he did and Hux took his personal safety very seriously. Even more so when he had someone to protect.

“What I’m trying to say is that you can sleep here if you keep us safe. Not that I trust you. Don’t even think it for a second because I don’t. But I’d rather have you down here than next to my daughter’s room,” Hux said.

“You know I don’t-”

“What I mean is your Force nonsense. I don’t want you to try and drag her into any of this. She has this power, sure, but this doesn’t mean she has to become like you or your dead uncle or kriffing Snoke.” The heat in Hux’s voice was real even though he gave his best to keep his voice down. Kylo had no doubt the girl could sense Hux’s distress if she tried. He knew he would be able to if he reached out but he didn’t. When Kylo didn’t say anything – because he didn’t know if he should – Hux turned away and rubbed his hands over his face. He was a mess too. Where Kylo was lost on what to do with himself, Hux was losing his nerves.

But before he could saying anything else Kylo took a step towards him and engulfed him in a tight hug, pressing his chest against Hux’s back, his chin to Hux’s shoulder. Hux exhaled shakily but didn’t try to escape him. Instead he put a hand on Kylo’s arm, his thumb brushing carefully over his arm.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” Hux whispered, a full-body shudder had him momentarily shake like a leaf against Kylo. He seemed so frail in that moment.

“You knew before I did that things wouldn’t last,” he went on. Kylo found himself grazing his lips against Hux’s bare neck. He smelled slightly of sweat and dust.

“You sent me away to protect me. I know that now but I still hate that you did.”

"You would have hated it more if you had seen the Finalizer go down. I know I did," Kylo whispered against Hux's neck. He hadn't thought about it in a long time and yet the image of the star destroyer breaking apart in the pull of a planet’s gravity was still clear in his mind as he recalled the memory.

Hux melted into his touch like he had given in.

"I know. I would have hated it. I would’ve begged you to go down with the ship."

They stood like this for a moment longer before Hux turned his head, his hand still on Kylo's arm.

"You smell bad. You should take a bath. There should still be enough hot water left over," Hux said. Kylo couldn't help but chuckle lowly in his throat.

"Will you join me?" He knew the question was almost ludicrous but he couldn’t help but to ask anyway.

He could tell Hux was pondering on it when he didn't answer right away. Kylo had no doubt if Hux disagreed with his bodily proximity he would have let him know by now so he remained hopeful.

"Fine. But only because the bells are audible in the refresher."

Kylo had forgotten about it for a moment. He would have to ask about it later. For now getting in the bathtub with Hux seemed more important. Really anywhere that was more private seemed preferable. He only reluctantly untangled himself from Hux but looked at him in surprise when Hux took his hand to lead him to the fresher.

“I guess you don’t have any fresh clothes with you,” Hux said as he closed the door behind them. “You can borrow one of my robes.”

Kylo wanted to argue the difference in shoulder width between them but he stopped himself just in time. He had missed Hux enough over the years he didn’t mind trying to wear something of his even if he might break it on accident. As if knowing of Kylo’s concerns, Hux showed him the robe which he picked from a clothes hook on the door. It was more fabric than Kylo had expected and it might just fit him.

Content with the provided robe, Kylo started taking off his clothes while Hux sat at the edge of the bathtub and turned on the water. He held his hand out to test the temperature while Kylo stripped down to his underwear. Hux’s gaze raked over his body momentarily before turning back to the tub which he plugged up when he deemed the water adequately warm. Kylo was aware of his scars but also of how much muscle he had lost since he was on the run from his old life. Sometimes he had to spend several days on his ship, eat scraps if he couldn’t find anything else. Keeping his body fit with exercises was barely possible without the weights and such he had had available during his time with the First Order. He was still built better than Hux but Kylo clearly wasn’t in his prime anymore.

Still, he knew he didn’t look bad apart from his coarse beard which bothered him suddenly as much as his overly long hair. He did like a certain length but not this long and his beard had always been patchy, unlike Hux’s which was full and shiny.

“Do you have a razor?” Kylo said as he looked himself in the mirror and palmed his own jaw, the hair scratching his skin. The memory of rubbing his own face against Hux’s soft belly resurfaced in his mind and he yearned to repeat the experience but not with a scratchy beard on his face. Kylo didn’t even know if Hux would let him even if his face was smooth.

Hux gave him a pointed look before rummaging through a drawer. The razor Hux presented Kylo with was a far cry from what they had in the Order. It was practically a naked blade. If Kylo didn’t know better he’d think Hux kept his beard because shaving it was such a struggle. Kylo took it and looked at his own hands to see if they were steady enough to shave. They were.

Hux offered him a can of shaving cream which made Kylo wonder why he didn't have a modern apparatus to tackle this problem. Instead of asking he thanked him and concentrated on removing his on patchy beard.

Kylo saw how Hux watched him as he worked. Stroke after stroke he removed his facial hair without nicking himself. Well, at least not deeply because he could feel at least a small scratch somewhere. It wasn’t perfect but it would do and he had good timing – he was done when the tub was adequately filled, at least if they both were to get in which was Kylo’s plan.

While he was toweling off his face Kylo reached out with the Force to shut off the faucet. Usually he didn’t use the Force for small things like this anymore but he knew around Hux he was safe to do so. Hux gave him a puzzled look at first but then started taking off his own clothes. Kylo took a last look into his now shaved face before putting the towel away. He stripped out of his underwear which desperately needed a wash just like his other clothes. Hux was right. He was a mess and he stank but being alone with himself made the personal stink cloud usually bearable after a few days. He would be embarrassed if it helped.

Kylo watched Hux openly as he stripped down to nothing. It had been so long since he’d seen another person like this. Naked. Vulnerable. Only Hux had no shame to be nude in his presence despite his thin, undefined body.

His dog tags which he still wore for some reason softly clinked together as they hit his bare chest when Hux pulled his thin shirt over his head. Kylo’s eyes easily fixated on the trail of ruddy red-blond hair which lead up to Hux’s navel. This sparse treasure trail of his had always been a fascination to Kylo and he yearned to caress him there and in other places.

Next were Hux’s pants and underwear which he pulled down together, unashamed of what lay beneath. Their bodies were no secret to each other and still after so many years Kylo couldn’t help but to explore Hux again. At first only with his eyes, then he stepped closer, letting his coarse hand roam over the soft expanse of Hux’s belly, his bony hip.

Hux breathed out slowly as he leaned slightly into the touch. His own hand came up to caress Kylo’s bare face, his thumb rubbed lightly over his cheek.

“Did you try and make yourself more pretty for me?” Hux whispered. Kylo swallowed thickly. Hux still had this effect on him. It was as if he dragged the yearning out of him, the need for love, for physical contact with another human being. But it was alright now.

“Everything for you,” Kylo whispered, he could hear Hux chuckle softly.

Hux took his hand and steered him into the tub as if Kylo had forgotten the purpose of them being in here in the first place. It was only a momentary lapse, giving himself over to a fond memory of what they once had. The little time spent together which didn’t happen between meetings and missions were the best moments of Kylo’s life. They had stolen this time from Snoke, from the Order, but it was theirs and theirs alone. In his heart he treasured every single one of these memories.

Kylo lowered himself into the tub without taking his eyes off of Hux. The warm water enveloped him like an embrace, a soft pleasured groan escaped his lips as he sank in completely, his long limbs barely contained in the size of the tub. Kylo gestured to the space between is legs for Hux.

“Please. Come in,” he said. Hux seemed reluctant for only a second when he carefully fitted his own body into the little space that was left. His long legs came to rest on Kylo’s sides and he couldn’t help but run his wet hand over one calf. Hux let him.

In the First Order they didn’t have the luxury of a tub, even water rations were restricted. But even during his time as Supreme Leader did Kylo not indulge overly much. Except for one time when he and Hux shared a shower with real water together. It had been slightly uncomfortable unlike sharing a bathtub but at least they had had each other. They would have each other again, or at least Kylo hoped they would. The flower of hope that blossomed in his chest was tiny but it was alive. Finding Hux again after so many years was a harsh destiny. The time apart had changed both their lives but Hux’s probably for the better. Meanwhile, Kylo was adrift.

Kylo couldn’t help it after a moment of looking at him, he grasped Hux’s legs and pulled him closer which caused Hux’s arms to flail and grip onto the edges of the tub. Not hard though since he still let himself be pulled.

“Eager, aren’t you?” Hux said, smirking. “I wished you were as eager to get clean.”

One of his hands left the edge of the tub to fumble for soap from a small dish that stood on a small tiled shelf. It was a curious thing to see Hux with a piece of soap in his hand that wasn’t the bland looking type they used to have in the First Order. And when Hux rubbed it between his hands it bubbled up beautifully and the scent had Kylo sniff the air as it hit him.

“Smells good,” he said when Hux gave him a look as if to challenge him. It melted away in to a soft smile.

“Thank you. We make these from sheep’s milk.”

Kylo moved so he could pull Hux into his lap. Surprisingly Hux let him, but he still put a steadying hand on Kylo’s shoulder while his other held the soap which he temporarily put back onto the shelf. The first touch of Hux’s soaped-up hands had Kylo flinch and Hux chuckle.

“Did you develop an aversion to cleaning yourself? Or just to my touch?” Hux said without any heat behind it. Kylo leaned into every one of Hux’s touches as he cleaned his shoulders and his chest. His hands weren’t lingering but this could soon change. In the meantime Kylo had his hands somewhere on Hux’s hip to hold him steady since they weren’t pressed tightly together.

“I’m happy to be with you again,” Kylo whispered. “I missed you. I missed us.”

Hux’s eyes were soft as he looked at him, his hands were gentle as they sank into Kylo’s wild hair to pull his head slightly closer.

“I don’t want to do this again if you end up running off,” Hux whispered close to his ear. “All three of us are in danger if we’re together.”

“I could protect you and your daughter,” Kylo said although he wasn’t quite sure if he seriously could. These days he didn’t use his lightsaber so much anymore as to not arouse suspicion. He was rather adept with his blaster though. Like father, like son or so it seemed.

“Not if you leave,” Hux said. “I need to know if you’re planning on leaving. I will be mad if you do but I’ll live. We’ll live.”

He sounded resigned, tired, so done with the world. Kylo could understand because he too just wanted a place to rest. Kylo could feel himself getting hard between them but he didn’t pay it any mind. His world focused on Hux’s touch, the sweetness of his lips as they met for a short kiss, the rough texture of Hux’s beard, the scent of the soap which was stuck in his nose. He yearned for having this every single day for the rest of his life.

Hux pulled away slowly and locked eyes with him. He obviously noticed Kylo's erection because he rubbed his own against it, causing both to try and stifle their groans.

Kylo reached between them the envelope both their cocks in his large hand. Hux closed his eyes with a shaky exhale, his hands were digging into Kylo's slick shoulders.

"Is this alright?" Kylo whispered. Desire pooled in his own belly but he knew if Hux asked him to stop he would. He couldn't risk losing him over his own foolish desires. Kylo didn't dare to actively read anything off of him in the Force but he could still feel the want radiating off of Hux. It was intoxicating. Kylo nearly lost his head over it. He wanted Hux so much.

“Please…,” Hux whispered. “I want you inside of me but...”

Kylo knew what he meant. If they were too loud Hux’s daughter might hear and he didn’t like the thought of exposing the girl to something like this. No. They couldn’t. Not here, not now.

“Another time, my love,” Kylo whispered into Hux’s sweaty hair, his breath coming sharply as Kylo’s hand moved slightly over both their cocks. He could barely keep himself from stroking faster. Kylo wanted to enjoy this.

Hux pressed his face against the hollow of Kylo’s neck, his breath falling hot and fast against Kylo’s skin as he squirmed against him. Even without using the Force Kylo could tell he was close. They were both close.

With a wicked twist of his hand he made them both shudder, Kylo came over his hand with a strangled moan followed shortly afterwards by Hux who pressed his face into Kylo’s neck to muffle himself.

Kylo let his hand sink into the water, the afterglow of his orgasm had him stare pleasantly over Hux’s shoulder. It took them both a while to recover as they were sitting slumped against each other, their breathing the only noise cutting through the quiet of the room.

Kylo flinched slightly as Hux started to move against him, grasping the bar of soap to continue cleaning both of them. There was determination in his eyes and Kylo let him do whatever he wanted as he leaned back with a sigh. He closed his eyes when Hux started to clean his hair which dearly needed it. The way he tugged at it and untangled it stung slightly but nothing Kylo couldn’t bare.

“Lazy,” Hux chided with an undertone of amusement in his voice. Kylo smiled at him, luxuriating in the deft touch of Hux’s hands. He could be gentle if he wanted to but Kylo’s hair was… a lot and heavy when soaked. Hux’s touch left him a moment later, leaving the soap suds behind in the dark locks.

“Need help?” Kylo said. With one hand he wiped what might be soap from his eyes so he could watch Hux soap himself up.

“I’m capable of cleaning myself. I know you’re not quite familiar with the concept anymore,” Hux said but there wasn’t much of a bite behind it, just a slight cheek. Kylo chuckled.

“I had other things on my mind,” he said as he took the bar ofsoap from Hux’s hand. Curiously enough Hux didn’t fight him, instead he watched with approval as Kylo soaped up his hands, then levitated the bar back to its dish. It was so fresh and yet so familiar to touch Hux’s naked skin, to move his palms over his body. Those ginger-lashed eyes slipped shut for just a moment as Hux quietly breathed out.

“I missed you too,” Hux admitted as he enjoyed the touch. He shivered pleasently under Kylo’s hands.

“I know,” Kylo whispered as he leaned in closer to steal a soft and chaste kiss from Hux’s lips. He could kiss Hux a thousand times and still would never get tired of it.

“I need you to stay,” Hux said. Kylo felt it in his bones. He had no choice but to obey if he could.

They were back in the living area a few minutes later, freshly washed and bundled up tightly in a blanket as they sat close to each other on the sofa. Below the blanket Kylo had his arm wrapped tightly around Hux where he pressed him close to his chest. Moments like these were precious and even though Kylo wanted to enjoy it while it lasted he couldn’t help but ask the questions he pushed away earlier. Hux seemed relaxed enough to answer if he wanted.

“Why a bell at the door?” he said quietly. “Why not lock it?” From where he sat Kylo could see that the door indeed possessed a lock and even a key but it wasn’t turned. Instead if was left unlocked and made Hux anxious.

Hux sighed heavily besides him. He reached up to his face with one hand to rub over it.

“It’s Jaina”, he said. “I’m not sure if she does it consciously but she uses the Force to unlock the door. I can only assume what happened to her when she was younger, that maybe she was locked away by those who didn’t understand. It’s pointless to lock the door. This is why I usually sleep down here.”

Kylo briefly felt as if a stone had dropped into his stomach. When he was a child it had felt wondrous to discover his Force abilities. But he knew from the stories of his fellow students at his uncle’s jedi academy how things could go very different and very wrong. The Force was a mythical thing, almost forgotten in most uncivilized places of the galaxy.

“I’ll talk to her if you like. I’ll teach her to control it,” Kylo whispered. He was sure he could do it, even though he had never seriously taught another person.

Hux tensed besides him.

“No talk of the dark side,” Hux said sharply. “Or the light or what have you. Just help her.”

“Balance then,” Kylo said although he didn’t subscribe to this idea like his uncle had done in the last years of his life. Still, Kylo had not delved into the darkness for such a long time he didn’t know if it was even worth bringing it up.

Hux relaxed against him but didn’t say anything for a while. When Kylo was about to open his mouth he heard something rustle at the other end of the room, he paused to listen. It couldn’t be anything dangerous or his senses would’ve warned him. He chuckled when a rusty-red tooka strolled into the room. As far as cats went this one looked grumpy yet well-fed. It regarded them with caution, its long tail moving slowly.

“It seems like you’re taking in all kinds of strays,” Kylo said. He extended one hand towards the tooka which eyed him curiously. It had a pattern like a loth cat on its body, a unique specimen for this part of the galaxy, just like Hux.

“Don’t forget I’m about to take you in as well,” Hux whispered. He watched with great interest as the tooka carefully but surely approached Kylo to sniff at his hand before rubbing its hand against it.

“She seems to like you. She usually doesn’t like anyone but Jaina, not even me,” Hux said.

The tooka seemed to consider Kylo’s presence for a moment longer before jumping into his lap, so heavy it almost knocked the air out of him. It curled up there and Kylo put his hand on top of it to stroke its short fur. The tooka’s clawed feet held on as if to never let him go.

“Does she have a name?” Kylo said. Hux chuckled besides him.

“Oh, Jaina and I call her different things. We never agree on her name. I call her Phasma because this cat sure can take care of herself and doesn’t seem to need anyone. But Jaina calls her Millicent which seems a bit too sweet for such a grumpy creature. She turned up here one day and wouldn’t leave so this is her home now. It’s nice to know she keeps vermin away,” Hux said. Kylo looked down to the creature. He hummed thoughtfully for a moment. Then a thought occurred to him and Kylo couldn’t help but laugh softly as he spoke.

“Vader,” he said. “I’d call her Vader.”

Hux shoved at him. “No, don’t you dare give this creature a third name,” he hissed, startling the tooka enough to make it growl and jump away from them. Phasma/Millicent/Vader the cat took one last look at them before disappearing somewhere into the shadows, undoubtedly to hunt for her own dinner.

Kylo couldn’t help himself, he turned and tugged Hux close to him as he laughed, careful to keep his voice down. He had been living like a half-dead man for way too many years. Not quite alive but not yet dead. Inside of him he felt revived as he pressed his face into Hux’s neck. It took him a while to calm down so he could speak again.

“How did you find Jaina?” Kylo whispered. The Force was a curious thing. It might have been destiny.

Hux scoffed against him but didn’t make a move to free himself from Kylo’s embrace, instead he shuffled around to put himself into Kylo’s lap.

“I met her shortly after you sent me into exile,” Hux said. “Maybe two standard months or so later. It was on a trader’s moon.”

“Smugglers,” Kylo supplied from memory and personal experience.

“Smuggler’s moon. Whatever. I saw her in a part of an open market, dirty and hungry and alone, trying to get some credits by floating stones for strangers. I knew immediately that it was the same kind of power you had. Only that she was a child, untainted by any sort of philosophy.”

Hux paused for a moment with a sniff. His hand on the fabric of Kylo’s borrowed robe clenched tighter, his feelings were obviously in a jumble.

“She reminded me of you but also of me when I was young and we had next to nothing. It took some effort to get her to trust me. But when she did I took her away from there and for a while it was only the two of us, looking for a new home until we came here,” Hux said. “This place belonged to an ex-imperial who used to be a friend of my mentor, Rae Sloane. He took us in but shortly afterwards he unfortunately died from an illness. It was terrible but we buried him in the backyard.”

He lifted his head from where it had been pressed against Kylo’s shoulder to look him in the eye. In this very moment Kylo knew he still loved Hux deeply. The flame of his passion for him had never burned out but with the distance Kylo had feared his love had gone stale. Fortunately this wasn’t the case.

“I want us to be a family,” Hux said and Kylo could feel the need of it grow inside of him the moment the words were out of Hux’s mouth. The sweetness of his lips enticed Kylo enough to distract him for a moment, leaning in closer almost closing the distance.

“I’d like that,” he said and Hux bridged the distance, kissing him deeply.

**5 Years later**

The sun was shining hotly onto Kylo’s graying head as he held down a sheep while Hux worked to shear off the fluffy overcoat. They had been doing this for long enough that at least half the herd was already back in the field to graze without the burden of their precious wool. Jaina helped by collecting what they had sheared off by now so the wind wouldn’t blow their bounty away. Kylo couldn’t complain about the work. It was easier than the things he had done back in the Order – the things he and Hux both had done. This was good work.

He was also doing good work with Jaina, he taught her about using her powers, controlling them but without dipping into the philosophy of either the jedi or the sith as he had promised Hux years ago. She had grown into a fine young woman and despite having the opportunity to leave she didn’t. Instead she called both of them her fathers and stayed with them, helping them with their little farm.

Kylo was about to call to her to collect the next sheep when a ship slowly but surely made its way down in the open field. He could feel it then through the Force. He knew who it was and without saying another word Kylo walked from the field, Hux calling his name behind him. Kylo held out a hand to keep him from following.

He stopped there in front of the ship and didn’t have to wait long for the New Republic forces to spill out of the ship, a few armed men. At their head was Rey, still fierce, still sharp through the Force. He couldn’t bear look at her. Instead Kylo looked to the ground, holding his hands out to be cuffed.

“You know why I’m here,” she said as a matter of fact. Kylo nodded slightly as he chewed on his lower lip. So this was it then. The end of his quiet life. At least he had five years with Hux and their daughter. It was more than he deserved.

“Please don’t take him too,” he said quietly. There was an audible intake of air but Rey didn’t say anything because Jaina suddenly stood between them, blocking Kylo from her.

“Please don’t,” she said, her voice short of breaking. “Please don’t take my father away from me.”

Kylo was about to tell her that it was alright, that he had earned this but then he heard Rey laugh, not maliciously but with a sort of delight.

“I think it’s safe to assume that Kylo Ren died and his sins with him. I hope it stays that way,” Rey said. There was a moment of stunned silence from both Kylo and Jaina before he dared to look up and take his daughter into his arms. She clung to him and sobbed openly as he rubbed her back soothingly. Kylo couldn’t say anything to Rey, he could only stare as she gave him a quiet nod. He knew she hadn’t forgiven him. Nothing could ever make her forgive him for the things he had done. But she saw right through him. That he was a changed man. That he wasn’t on a war path anymore. Instead he was a family man with a quiet life on a meaningless planet somewhere in wild space.

She and the others left them just as Hux reached Kylo and Jaina. He pressed his lips to the top of Jaina’s head before kissing Kylo in relief, breaking up the hug momentarily only to grab hold of both of them.

They were free and they were together.


End file.
